I recently moved in with two close girl friends of mine. I originally planned to move to Chicago in the summer, but after facing a breakup and the whole global pandemic situation, I figured I would rather spend my summer soaking up all of Colorado possible. So, last second I changed my plans and signed a shirt term lease for the summer. Living with your girl friends is enchanting; we easily and gracefully settled into a very lovely routine of dancing and drinking wine and romanticizing our own lives. It’s refreshing and beautiful to settle into an environment of love right now, as our world burns we hug one another. It’s simply sweet.
When I finally made the choice to come back I was welcomed with not only open arms, but an open calendar of potential weekends. The great thing about living in Colorado is that the campgrounds are open at the moment. Of course social distancing is strictly enforced, but camping is not prohibited. My roommates and I groggily packed our car up one weekend in early May and took a girls trip to the mountains. We drove for a few hours, randomly picking a direction and played our music too loudly as limbs draped into one another.
Growing up, my mother really enforced the idea that girl friends, that women supporting other women, was the key to happiness. She told me to be nice to every single woman, to open my arms to my fellow females because she told me; “it would fill you up like nothing else”. And although I’ve adamantly stood by this in my life, I think this weekend was a moment it really sunk in for me.
No one will love you like your girl friends, that is just the truth. As we drove into the mountains, sharing secrets and giggling, my inner child sang. I felt loved and cherished and heard, but also I felt giddy and content, knowing that if anything happened, I was surrounded by those whose would do anything for me. I’ve never felt that with any love interest, mentor or peer. However, I have felt protected by so many good women, including those I do not know, these friendships have made failing a bit sweeter- to do it in the arms of feminine energy is divine. And this kind of therapy was needed in the moment of face masks, uncertainty corruption and fear.
My moment of euphoria (my ‘filled up’ moment) took place as I did not sleep in our tent, at 10,000 ft, next to a lake, in the middle of spring. I did not sleep because it was so cold my lips turned blue and my fingers were numb. The wind shook the tent the entire night and my head ached from the freezing air and the rocks jamming into my body. However, I felt safer and happier than I have ever with a mans arms around me, or in a luxurious hotel. I just was okay, even if I cannot articulate it well. Perhaps it was a combination of the music and the comfort of being outside. But, I am a firm believer that taking your shoes off is medicinal and the Mamma Mia soundtrack was produced by goddesses to teach wild souls to let go, and so I healed a bit in my cold frigid, safe space.
We found a warmer camping spot the next day, hiked miles and miles and learned about ourselves and one another in the same clothes and messy hair as the days before. The trip was really lovely, I am always enchanted by the trees and biology of new places and this trip satiated my need for a lot of things; for healing and escaping and running. 2020 has been a rough one, guys. Not being able to escape and travel to an exotic place to live for a bit has made me feel anxious and claustrophobic. So, even if we literally just packed up our home to make one elsewhere, my urge to flee the country and change my name settled for a bit. I learned that sometimes running into the arms of giggling and humbling women is sometimes enough of an escape for right now; that vegetarian hot dogs made by my best friend while I napped, are an absolute delicacy and that my name is just fine, for now. We all need different things, but this trip was serendipitous and fufilling. And it cost less than $50.